NOT GUILTY!

    i dunno how it feels like to be in your world and i just came to realize how frustrating it is. now i can't blame you why you find me too naive or childish for that matter. then i start to wonder how does those girls you mingle with act. is it not like me? i will never have a chance on you if i continue to be like this. but how will i change myself if i'm too stubborn and proud for change! wahahahha! now this closes the whole issue. you don't have enough power or influence over me or i'm not that into you cause i can't even dare stand an argument with myself rationalizing why should i change myself for you. and does it make sense? yes! because only the guy i want to please so much can eradicate my bad habits, if he considers being childish sometimes a bad habit. also, that guy should accept me for who and what i am. he shouldn't commit himself to me if he can't stand being with me in the first place.

    now i feel sorry about the two of us. we are too different for each other that we don't have a closer distance for attraction. I'm a child at heart one thing i can't deny cause it's obvious on how i act sometimes. but take note, i might be childish but i don't fret like those silly immature who tries to act like a grown-up. I'm rational and i know how to think at the margins. (*am i defending myself?) one thing you can't find in some of your mature women. I'm a deep thinker so i don't talk about stupid and nonsense stuffs all the time. (*trying to single out myself from your girls.)
you who accuse me of being childish, yes i am when the moment allows me to be one. i know how to handle myself. it's easy and i don't need your help to set myself in the right track.

    I'm not mad at you. I just feel sorry because you didn't allow yourself to know me better, because of your stereotyped mentality that's restraining you to discover and venture out new things. you imprison yourself behind the bars of your conventional view to women and maturity and as much as i want to free you from that invisible jail, you already gave me your conviction and this pushed me away making a wider gap to the both of us.

 it's not really you and i being too different that's keeping us from giving a chance to fully  know each other, but it's your conventional mentality. now i can relax myself my brain from scrutinizing myself because the truth is i'm not the one to be reproached at.