cause i'm not yet ready to close the gap on that aisle

my sister asked me if i have plans to have children in the future. and i told her "yes, why not."
though i don't really see myself looking for male prospects and tying the knots and signing those marriage certificates. perhaps i think this way cause i couldn't imagine myself walking with a guy by my side cause i'm so occupied with myself at the moment. i mean, i'm too proud to co-exist with males, specially if he's to tie a life-long marriage ( you could always break the tie though it means too much hassle on working with papers and filing law suits.).
at first when i imagine myself closing the gaps on that long flowered aisle towards my husband-to-be, with all the people close to us anticipating and looking at me, it was great. you're in this picturesque place and everyone seemed so excited and vivacious and sincere and like no one will ever stop the joyous moments coming except if you're a candidate for a runaway bride...everything just seemed so perfect.
except for a single thing... yourself.
your free flying self, your ambitious self that's constantly haunted with the notion that... you're married and your tied up to the responsibilities to your husband and kids. there's no way out except for the dirty back door.

for now, i'm too self-centered to be thinking about happy and contented married life. and it would be selfish and unfair for my family-to-be if i think this way.