for the first time, I've tasted nothing from my life. it's not bitter nor sweet, nor sour, it tastes nothing. and i fear it. i fear my life having no taste at all. last night, was the deepest sorrow i've ever dug in my soul. the pain of rejection, nothingness, worthlessness and all. i was succumbed by a deep darkness and i can't escape myself out from it. i was trapped and i can't breath. i tried to feel my heart and it's too weak as if it's not existing. i placed my palms above my chest and feel it. i silenced myself, my thoughts in turmoil and suffering. and feel my heart though it's beating weak in my ribs. but the knowledge, that in the pit of darkness, my heart is there, never gave up. and so i wandered myself deeper in the darkness. the deeper i get, the taste of life slowly leaving in the tongue of my soul. it's hideous and my physical body pained for that of my soul. i cried and tears sprung in my eyes, deluged my being, flooded my soul that for a while, i was drowned in the abyss of darkness... it's like experiencing death for the first time. it's like watching myself in a coffin. and i don't even have a flower to fragrance her way to the next life. i was there. looking at her with pitiful eyes, unmoving. feeling contempt to myself cause i can't bring her back to life.
i don't know when did i finally slept myself. but one thing i know, my palms was still placed above my chest... feeling the weak pulse of my heart...trusting that it will sail me through the dawn of another life.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
resume
Objective:
To get a suitable job where I will get an opportunity to enhance my abilities in communication and interpersonal skills.
To obtain a career opportunity in an organization where i can apply my diversified background knowledge and skills.
To complement my skills and establish myself as a better individual by working as a professional.
To have means in supporting my financial needs in school.
education:
Saint peter's college of toril
Ateneo de Davao university
activities:
drama club
writer's club
school election volunteer
school activities organizer
art club
skills and languages:
english proficiency
tagalog and local dialect
exemplary communication skills
technical and creative writing
public speaking
drawing and designing
interests and activities:
writing
reading
speaking
drawing
painting
designing
computer skills:
To get a suitable job where I will get an opportunity to enhance my abilities in communication and interpersonal skills.
To obtain a career opportunity in an organization where i can apply my diversified background knowledge and skills.
To complement my skills and establish myself as a better individual by working as a professional.
To have means in supporting my financial needs in school.
education:
Saint peter's college of toril
Ateneo de Davao university
activities:
drama club
writer's club
school election volunteer
school activities organizer
art club
skills and languages:
english proficiency
tagalog and local dialect
exemplary communication skills
technical and creative writing
public speaking
drawing and designing
interests and activities:
writing
reading
speaking
drawing
painting
designing
computer skills:
Proficient with Microsoft Word, Excel, and PowerPoint, and Internet
Monday, March 28, 2011
Sunday, March 27, 2011
face it.
when i was a kid, i used to think darkness as a dreadful place to be. before i won't even dare go to dark places alone even if it's just in my room. that's why i need to put up the lights even when I'm already sleeping. my mom tried to train me to sleep with the lights off cause the electric bill is escalating because of it. but I'm really scared of the darkness that i scream in the middle of the night every time i chance to wake up and found the lights off. this made my parents jump out to bed and run to my room to check me out. then i started venting and screaming why they'd turned off the lights. and they said it was to save electricity.
but one night, when my father was driving us home from our weekly visit at my granny's place. i tried to stare out to the darkness for quite a while then tried to find something out there ( a ghost perhaps). but i saw nothing and the longer i fix my eyes into the darkness my eyes became used to it. that was my first attempt to get rid off of my darkness-phobia.
the next attempt was, when my mother didn't bought a toy or something for me,then, unconsciously, because i was overwhelmed by my emotions, i marched to my room and sulked myself there and i forgot to turn on the lights. i was sulking for several minutes and when i was finally calmed myself, i realized that I've been there in the darkness for a very long time.. and i wasn't scared at all.
i imagined frightening things and monsters hovering around me but my attempt to scare myself was futile. then i rationalized to myself that fear is just an illusion created by myself. the longer i spent in the darkness, the more i felt comfortable and safe. somewhat it became friendlier. until now, i still love to do things in little light, from the lamp mainly. specially when I'm reading or doing things in my study table.
my eyes weren't that used to so much light anymore that i easily squint my eyes even if it's just in a normal intensity. so when i read books in the library, i usually go to shadowy corners so that i can be able to read properly.
then on, i had never been afraid of darkness anymore.
and the technique is: to look straight into it.
it's relevant to everyday living and every time we face problems or obstacles. there is nothing to fear about our fears if we look straight into it and rationalize things, then this fear you thought before wouldn't become that frightening anymore. these fears that you imagine can be tamed and they will be of use to you.
but one night, when my father was driving us home from our weekly visit at my granny's place. i tried to stare out to the darkness for quite a while then tried to find something out there ( a ghost perhaps). but i saw nothing and the longer i fix my eyes into the darkness my eyes became used to it. that was my first attempt to get rid off of my darkness-phobia.
the next attempt was, when my mother didn't bought a toy or something for me,then, unconsciously, because i was overwhelmed by my emotions, i marched to my room and sulked myself there and i forgot to turn on the lights. i was sulking for several minutes and when i was finally calmed myself, i realized that I've been there in the darkness for a very long time.. and i wasn't scared at all.
i imagined frightening things and monsters hovering around me but my attempt to scare myself was futile. then i rationalized to myself that fear is just an illusion created by myself. the longer i spent in the darkness, the more i felt comfortable and safe. somewhat it became friendlier. until now, i still love to do things in little light, from the lamp mainly. specially when I'm reading or doing things in my study table.
my eyes weren't that used to so much light anymore that i easily squint my eyes even if it's just in a normal intensity. so when i read books in the library, i usually go to shadowy corners so that i can be able to read properly.
then on, i had never been afraid of darkness anymore.
and the technique is: to look straight into it.
it's relevant to everyday living and every time we face problems or obstacles. there is nothing to fear about our fears if we look straight into it and rationalize things, then this fear you thought before wouldn't become that frightening anymore. these fears that you imagine can be tamed and they will be of use to you.
from my economics professor
"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." Vincent T. Lombardi
rooms and mistakes
There's room for mistakes but i'm making rooms to where supposed to be no mistakes.
Friday, March 25, 2011
the panacea to my headache
i got a dire headache last night so i didn't have a proper sleep. i already put every ointment my grandmother has just to reduce the pain. it's like tiny gnomes digging for a treasure chest in my head. i think it was quarter to twelve already when i finally drifted.early in the morning, i woke up feeling great. i even remembered smiling in my dream and there's no trace of headache anymore.
i just want to share that i dream of him last night studying at the library together with me. even as i already woke up, vivid pictures of him is flashing back on my thoughts. i was smiling and as much as i badly want to go back from sleeping, my chores are waiting for me outside.
but it's okay, i wish i would dream of you again in the future. well, i always pray.
thank you. my panacea.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
meet me at the twilight
whenever we try to work things out...it's like trying to tie heaven and earth together... this may sound too much but that's how i find it. we never did attempt to please each other and humble ourselves for a while to give space for acceptance and understanding. . . will we ever meet in a twilight??... i want us to meet in the center and feel each others' warm presence, but how can i do that if in your world... it's always been day no night....if you don't recognize that there is the moon, she's waiting for you... all this time.
NOT GUILTY!
i dunno how it feels like to be in your world and i just came to realize how frustrating it is. now i can't blame you why you find me too naive or childish for that matter. then i start to wonder how does those girls you mingle with act. is it not like me? i will never have a chance on you if i continue to be like this. but how will i change myself if i'm too stubborn and proud for change! wahahahha! now this closes the whole issue. you don't have enough power or influence over me or i'm not that into you cause i can't even dare stand an argument with myself rationalizing why should i change myself for you. and does it make sense? yes! because only the guy i want to please so much can eradicate my bad habits, if he considers being childish sometimes a bad habit. also, that guy should accept me for who and what i am. he shouldn't commit himself to me if he can't stand being with me in the first place.
now i feel sorry about the two of us. we are too different for each other that we don't have a closer distance for attraction. I'm a child at heart one thing i can't deny cause it's obvious on how i act sometimes. but take note, i might be childish but i don't fret like those silly immature who tries to act like a grown-up. I'm rational and i know how to think at the margins. (*am i defending myself?) one thing you can't find in some of your mature women. I'm a deep thinker so i don't talk about stupid and nonsense stuffs all the time. (*trying to single out myself from your girls.)
you who accuse me of being childish, yes i am when the moment allows me to be one. i know how to handle myself. it's easy and i don't need your help to set myself in the right track.
I'm not mad at you. I just feel sorry because you didn't allow yourself to know me better, because of your stereotyped mentality that's restraining you to discover and venture out new things. you imprison yourself behind the bars of your conventional view to women and maturity and as much as i want to free you from that invisible jail, you already gave me your conviction and this pushed me away making a wider gap to the both of us.
it's not really you and i being too different that's keeping us from giving a chance to fully know each other, but it's your conventional mentality. now i can relax myself my brain from scrutinizing myself because the truth is i'm not the one to be reproached at.
now i feel sorry about the two of us. we are too different for each other that we don't have a closer distance for attraction. I'm a child at heart one thing i can't deny cause it's obvious on how i act sometimes. but take note, i might be childish but i don't fret like those silly immature who tries to act like a grown-up. I'm rational and i know how to think at the margins. (*am i defending myself?) one thing you can't find in some of your mature women. I'm a deep thinker so i don't talk about stupid and nonsense stuffs all the time. (*trying to single out myself from your girls.)
you who accuse me of being childish, yes i am when the moment allows me to be one. i know how to handle myself. it's easy and i don't need your help to set myself in the right track.
it's not really you and i being too different that's keeping us from giving a chance to fully know each other, but it's your conventional mentality. now i can relax myself my brain from scrutinizing myself because the truth is i'm not the one to be reproached at.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
finding some sense in the afternoon
as to me who doesn't know a lot about love... i just write by instincts and logic. though they say that love is not at all logical, it's but the mere obedience to your heart. and i say, doesn't heart knows how to think? or doesn't the heart controlled by the central programming system which is the brain thus the one which is responsible for the procurement of emotions through the cerebrum. then if someone will tell you: "i think i like you" is it similar when you say: "i feel i like you" or "i love you" since they all came in the same part of the brain. it undergoes the same process of thinking before you say these words.
in here i brought up another subject of argument. are "i think i love you" and "i love you" conveys different weighs and depth? or perhaps a different meaning? as a matter of experience, most of the women unreasonably get angry over the former statement than the latter one.
let's go back to my earlier statement that love is not at all logical, so does it mean "love" is stupidity? this preposition can be supported by several data i gathered. wherein i witnessed people, even some are close to me, saying that love is real when you use your heart over your mind. but i don't want myself to sound ambiguous and inconsistent when i already stated earlier that heart is but a subordinate to the brain since it's the controlling system. so let's just use the term passion and reason...but even the use of these terms will create conflict since passion is also a product of the brain. you can never know that it is your passion if you never thought that it is through your brain.
***
another case of ambiguity: how is "sobrang smooth" differs from "smooth" ?? (*courtesy of a shampoo commercial)
why do some people say "i super miss you" when it's just the same when you say " i miss you" ? does it mean that the absence of "super" in a statement denotes that the person who declared it missed the person less?? should the recipient of the message feel less missed upon hearing these words, considering the absence of "super" upon the statement?
and why am i debating on such trifle matters??
in here i brought up another subject of argument. are "i think i love you" and "i love you" conveys different weighs and depth? or perhaps a different meaning? as a matter of experience, most of the women unreasonably get angry over the former statement than the latter one.
let's go back to my earlier statement that love is not at all logical, so does it mean "love" is stupidity? this preposition can be supported by several data i gathered. wherein i witnessed people, even some are close to me, saying that love is real when you use your heart over your mind. but i don't want myself to sound ambiguous and inconsistent when i already stated earlier that heart is but a subordinate to the brain since it's the controlling system. so let's just use the term passion and reason...but even the use of these terms will create conflict since passion is also a product of the brain. you can never know that it is your passion if you never thought that it is through your brain.
***
another case of ambiguity: how is "sobrang smooth" differs from "smooth" ?? (*courtesy of a shampoo commercial)
why do some people say "i super miss you" when it's just the same when you say " i miss you" ? does it mean that the absence of "super" in a statement denotes that the person who declared it missed the person less?? should the recipient of the message feel less missed upon hearing these words, considering the absence of "super" upon the statement?
and why am i debating on such trifle matters??
what vacuous people appreciate less
what i do most in mall is go straight to the bookstore, which is at least 10 steps from the entrance, and read. after spending less than 4 hours free reading i go to the cheapest food chain and buy something to eat. stay there for a while and read some materials i brought with me in case i have to wait in long queues or vacant hours in between classes. i also write while looking outside the windows or by just looking at people inside. they really interests me. i cook stories in my head about their gestures and conversations then write it on my pad.
after wards, i go to the event center which is just at the second floor and check out if there's some interesting events happening therein. if there's none, i leave at ones.
that's how i basically spend my time in malls when i'm alone. my friends even told me if it doesn't bore having the same routines in school and outside campus. in school, they find me reading books in the library. it's rare to find me not reading according to them. after class, i go to bookstores and read there, as always.
well, i could also use some recreations aside from books, it's just that i find them cheapest and most accessible for the nonce. nevertheless, i love reading and it gives me pleasure every time. be it on books or internet sites or newspapers, it doesn't matter. it's one thing some people can't understand. the joy of reading a novel and finishing it, or having to know a lot of information.
though i don't want to forcibly inculcate on them the things i like, i would still be encouraging people to read a lot.
after wards, i go to the event center which is just at the second floor and check out if there's some interesting events happening therein. if there's none, i leave at ones.
that's how i basically spend my time in malls when i'm alone. my friends even told me if it doesn't bore having the same routines in school and outside campus. in school, they find me reading books in the library. it's rare to find me not reading according to them. after class, i go to bookstores and read there, as always.
well, i could also use some recreations aside from books, it's just that i find them cheapest and most accessible for the nonce. nevertheless, i love reading and it gives me pleasure every time. be it on books or internet sites or newspapers, it doesn't matter. it's one thing some people can't understand. the joy of reading a novel and finishing it, or having to know a lot of information.
though i don't want to forcibly inculcate on them the things i like, i would still be encouraging people to read a lot.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
parallel and intersection roads
The divergence of our origins made clear that we live not in parallel, but destined to be meeting in many intersections. If it's good or not, i don't know, but one thing I'm sure, i love how it feels every time we run into. The roads we choose tell us who we are, yet they don't give signboards who to meet in the next corners of our pavements. We don't know when and who to yield, pause and pass. our roads are full of excitement, depending on how we approach the days and nights that spilled the paths. and what else could make my walks a little more exciting is my anticipation in every steps i take, i...i close the gap to you.
As i said, i never thought of walking in parallels with you in a smooth road because you are different from me, and our difference has a gravity we don't know how to defy or we cannot still find the apparent reasons to defy. yet, though this gravity we call distinctness makes an inevitable stroke to separate us, it is also the reason why we meet in several intersections. The reason why we look back and think not a like what we usually thought when we walk our separate roads again. We smile in the same manner with each other, then, slowly we realize we already made a connection through that smile. This connection will become tiny radars that leads us to where we are. We will make bridges and own pavements to meet each other in the same parallel and intersection roads.
As i said, i never thought of walking in parallels with you in a smooth road because you are different from me, and our difference has a gravity we don't know how to defy or we cannot still find the apparent reasons to defy. yet, though this gravity we call distinctness makes an inevitable stroke to separate us, it is also the reason why we meet in several intersections. The reason why we look back and think not a like what we usually thought when we walk our separate roads again. We smile in the same manner with each other, then, slowly we realize we already made a connection through that smile. This connection will become tiny radars that leads us to where we are. We will make bridges and own pavements to meet each other in the same parallel and intersection roads.
my mantra!
What can be more sensational than me reading the Bible after cleaning the house? had i not secretly promised to read the full of the Bible i myself would be dubious about it all. well why am i this stereotyped about myself? can't i be good and feel good with it while not thinking me stupid? perhaps to those claimers who thought they'd known me well enough than myself, aren't you just being too selfish with your notions huh? that goes with me, sometimes theirs a part of me saying that all are just ephemeral and in few days I'll go back to my old idle miserable proud self again... and i won't even think that i read the Bible or written all this in defense with myself. That's the big problem with you naysayers... and with me, I'm not an exception. and so let me put this life straight already cause I'm tired of falling out from the ladder and climbing it from the beginning. am i not tired of this system?? this system of idleness, procrastination, cowardice, and fear?
Let me tell myself.....DON"T BE AFRAID. UNLEASH THE "ARF" IN YOU.... TRUST IN GOD."
From now on, this will be my mantra!
Monday, March 21, 2011
career test.
Took up a career test at 3:50 a.m and this is the result.
This description is a generalisation. If it rings true, you've found your career type.
You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
This description is a generalisation. If it rings true, you've found your career type.
You would most enjoy a career that allows you to meet new people. You would also be happiest in a career that allows you to be free and flexible, and allows you to be extremely creative. Some careers that would be perfect for you are:
- Stockbroker
- Secretary
- Receptionist
- Director
- Recruitment Consultant
- Politician
- Marketing
- Human Resources Manager
- Religious Minister
- Teacher
- Lawyer
- Advertising
- Consultant
- Financial Adviser
- Financial Planner
- GP
- Physical Therapy
- Occupational Therapy
- Public Relations
- Estate Agent
- Travel Agent
- Restauranteur/Hotel Manager
- Events Organiser
You are a great leader. You genuinely enjoy being around other people. Your relationships with others are very important to you. You love talking and meeting new people. You are very enthusiastic about work and about all that you do and have in your life. You love being the focus of attention. You enjoy a fast pace. You are very socially oriented. Therefore, you are much happier being with others than you are alone. You crave interaction with others.
You are very spontaneous and often act before you think. You are always quick to answer when you are asked a question, even if you aren't sure of the answer. It is easier for you to improvise as you go along. You enjoy thinking out loud, and are most creative when brainstorming with friends or colleagues. You enjoy being involved in many activities.
You are very easy to read, and often wear your heart on your sleeve. You are never afraid to tell people what you think. You are very empathetic and genuine. You can sometimes be seen as over-emotional or too involved by others. But that is only because you tend to get so involved in the things you do that they become personal. You want to be adored, loved and appreciated. You like to please others and to make sure people are happy.
You trust your gut instincts. You are easily inspired and trust that inspiration. You are very innovative. You analyse things by looking at the big picture. You are concerned about how what you do affects others. You worry about your actions and the future. You tend to use a lot of metaphors and are very descriptive and colourful in your choice of language.
You are very creative, and get bored easily if you don't get to express yourself. You like to learn new things. You don't like the same old routine. You like to leave your options open.
Finding a career that is right for you isn't always an easy thing. However, if you secure a job that is suited to your personality type you will enjoy going to work, feel great about yourself, feel appreciated and look forward to what's ahead.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
new layout designs and all!
cleaning, organizing and furnishing your own blog is like cleaning your own room. i removed some clutters in it like useless gadgets. i already have a lot of gadgets posted that it made my blog look claustrophobic. so yeah, after removing it, the blog turned out more spacious and comfortable. i also discovered a lot of designs and techniques on how to make my blog more personalized. it gave me a sort of privacy and self-ness.
more happy blogging days!
"S" for Smile and Spring!
Flowers in full bloom, chirping cicadas, welcoming smiles, waiting is worth the while, oh there's no delaying-- SPRING!
http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2009/03/signs_of_spring.html
More lovely pictures here. :)
not-for-me speech
identity crisis and social struggle has been problems and dilemmas among the youth. and i won't make myself an exception to them. i am also one of those who hide their identities to fit in with the society or to be accepted by the family. but now, i am in the stage wherein i am doing me and not what the society dictates me to be.
critiques, disillusions and nonacceptance: these are just few of the things i deal with in my struggle for identity crisis. and it's difficult every time you can't be who you want. it's like being in the state of asphyxia. in this restrictions is where i dwell myself in the past. but more than the extrinsic reasons why i choose to be who i am is the intrinsic desire for self contentment and freedom. two of the things that are difficult to grasp considering me as a gay. i can't wear what i want without the excruciating judgments of the conventional few. i can't what i supposedly can because i fear what the society will tell.
however, this didn't refrain me to be at my best and always bring out the personality i keep hiding. in every activity i do, a project perhaps, i put my personality into it. and they become a reflection of myself. in being gay, i learn to value and respect others' unique self. for it is in acceptance that we become confident and eventually bring out our utmost potentials. it is like helping others while helping myself at the same time.
now that i am here, and was endowed by the freedom i want. it is always to be remembered that along this is awareness over one's responsibilities.being you is not destructing yourself because of too much indulgent to freedom that you become unaware of the consequences. making boundaries is not a form of denial to oneself or suffocation and less spontaneity but a manifestation of one's true self with discipline and respect.
critiques, disillusions and nonacceptance: these are just few of the things i deal with in my struggle for identity crisis. and it's difficult every time you can't be who you want. it's like being in the state of asphyxia. in this restrictions is where i dwell myself in the past. but more than the extrinsic reasons why i choose to be who i am is the intrinsic desire for self contentment and freedom. two of the things that are difficult to grasp considering me as a gay. i can't wear what i want without the excruciating judgments of the conventional few. i can't what i supposedly can because i fear what the society will tell.
however, this didn't refrain me to be at my best and always bring out the personality i keep hiding. in every activity i do, a project perhaps, i put my personality into it. and they become a reflection of myself. in being gay, i learn to value and respect others' unique self. for it is in acceptance that we become confident and eventually bring out our utmost potentials. it is like helping others while helping myself at the same time.
now that i am here, and was endowed by the freedom i want. it is always to be remembered that along this is awareness over one's responsibilities.being you is not destructing yourself because of too much indulgent to freedom that you become unaware of the consequences. making boundaries is not a form of denial to oneself or suffocation and less spontaneity but a manifestation of one's true self with discipline and respect.
Saturday, March 19, 2011
earthquake, civil wars, chaos, turmoils.....what's next?
Riotous demonstrations and horrible earthquake aftermaths had been the top headlines in almost all the newspapers and news programs the past weeks. I witnessed the tragedy that befallen Japan, one of the countries with the highest and fast economic growth. The economy will be greatly fluctuated because of the calamity. Eventually, this will lead to some disadvantages in the countries they pact with. Philippines to be specific benefits so much from the OFWs who are working in Japan through money remittances. Ergo, the earthquake calamity means unemployment to a lot of Japanese and Filipino workers, then this leads to the declination of the economy, both to that of Japan and Philippines.
"They want to eradicate from their lives the entire apparatus of the regimes: the secret police, the militias, the culture of fear and the culture of torture.
But there's something else going on in the Arab world right now: the uprisings are also targeting the sons of the dictators.
The sins of the fathers are indeed being visited upon the sons and, in most cases, justifiably so as the sons have been key players in the brutality that has kept the regimes, and the corruption that has characterised them, in place."
Juxtaposed to the earthquake calamities that shaken the economic threads of the world are the incessant wars happening in Libya and its neighboring countries. as we all know, Libya is under the absolute power of the dictator Muzzafar Gadaffi. He had been ruling Libya for 41 years now and whose strict and personalized autocratic power caused social asphyxia to the Libyan, eventually lead to their uprising against him. It was a also apparent that his family also decides in all the critical business and economic transactions. the approval form his son's and daughters had become mandatory before the ingression to these agreements. the best part is, these are not transparent to the people.Libyan economy and all the other countries transacting with them will be greatly affected because of this political turmoils. Philippines in particular purchase oil in Libya. So in the event of Gadaffis dethronement, the oil prices will be indisputably affected. since he won't take control of the primary product their country is producing. aside from that, the continuous turmoil will withdraw economic transactions by partnering countries, specially those who buy oil from them.
***
P.S.
I personally admire not Gadaffis eccentric fashion sense but his guts to wear those. it really reflected who he is and what kind of ruling he does: Personal and out-of-fashion. Libyans should still be thankful that Gadaffi do not interfere with their closets and PERSONALLY decides for their everyday outfits. that would be a credible reason to a more violent uprising (*Libyans, even Dior and Tyra Banks will join you if that happens.)
and this is the question everyone should be concerned of aside from what will happen to Libya and to other neighboring countries and to the world economy....WHO DESIGN GADAFFI'S BIZZARE CLOTHES??
what if Gadaffi is not really a dictator? but a puppet dictator dictated by a dictating puppeteer slash frustrated fashion designer?? the reason perhaps why he's acting such is because of the clothes he wear. these clothes might be enchanted by some spell made by the designer. then every time Gadaffi wears them, he has been somewhat controlled by this designer, he transforms to a heartless, stoic, obnoxious dictator! so the real culprit of all this chaos is none other than the designer! the disturbing problem aside from the economic trouble is....Who is Gadaffi's Fashion controller??
Evidences:
ANOTHER "FASHIONISTA" DICTATOR:
when Imelda met Muammar. could it be that they were talking about
world domination through the use of.. FASHION? what you think?
too many to mention, hikhik
you know, a lot of things i thank for this week. GOD first for this week wouldn't be possible without Him. i wake up in the morning, giving him gratitude and praises for the new life and everything that comes with it. it is amazing that despite my skepticism and dubiousness, here i am, believing in Him more than ever. and how it feels great and novel this ultimate comeback! it's like leveling myself higher after i cleared out the previous stages, the doubts , problems and all. :)
Friday, March 18, 2011
itching to write
wanna write this someday...
"this is me doing what i love to do... this is me doing what i ought to do since from the start."
i would like to write everything that happened this week, but i believe i should finish this week first.
"this is me doing what i love to do... this is me doing what i ought to do since from the start."
i would like to write everything that happened this week, but i believe i should finish this week first.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Ultimate Loyalty: Japanese Dog Refuses to Leave Injured Friend Behind
This is what loyalty means...
a tearjerker video during the aftermath of the calamity that
befallen Japan.
let's all hear what Amazing sounds like
http://primetime.tv.yahoo.com/
watch this, one American Idol contestant just made a history.
i love this batch more than the previous.
watch this, one American Idol contestant just made a history.
i love this batch more than the previous.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
i wanna feel good. :)
there's nothing wrong in following rules and instructions specially if they're for your good. it won't hurt you to be a good girl and understanding most of the time. i want to be good and understand but it's not what i'm doing now. i violate rules and see them as cages and enemies. but the truth is they weren't put there to be foes of what interpretations i think of them. they were there to set myself free from fear of systemic life. it doesn't mean that i follow some house rules or life rules then i'm not being unique. it doesn't mean that i emancipate myself from them then i am unique.what is really being unique for me? is it breaking rules? is it following rules? is it making your own rules?
for me, being unique is being YOU. biologically, i am unique in this world. i don't have any same DNA's or structure with others. it's a good thing that i recognize my biological uniqueness. now mentally, i believe my distinctness springs out from my creativity. creativity mixed with personality brings out the uniqueness in me. i should feel good about this not all are so much blessed with talent. the best part is i had them ever since. these gifts gave me a social and emotional security and reliability. it made me trust myself and that's why i didn't have any dark insecurities within me. i'm not insecure because i have my barrier shield that protects me from insecurities and being insecure.i just realized that no matter how frequent i am praised with the people around me if they are not my family, always a piece of joy lacks in that moment or in that certain thing i made. i wish i could tell my parents of my accomplishments during my high school and college days. unfortunately, all that matters to them are academic competitiveness.
it is true that when people violate rules, they just want to be conspicuous, to be noticed. they just want someone to talk to them and acknowledge their existence. it is wrong, it is all wrong. do good, and sure people will know of you goodness and, isn't it just like feeling good about yourself also? if you do good you feel the same good feelings after: being recognized that you exist and because you made something that brought happiness to others which eventually reciprocates the same feelings to you.
late discovery of something lovely
The entry today is about a new discovery with myself and with someone. first is that, my teacher is really cute up close. and second, i have a crush on him. :) i want to share this because he was the first thing that came out in my head when i opened my blog. it is such a wonderful and exciting discovery that i don't want it unwritten and kept within. though i haven't told anyone of this discovery yet. such lovely and happy discoveries are worth documenting on blog. more than that, the subject of this entry is very much worth blogging about.
why didn't i noticed this long before?? i mean, he's been my teacher for the whole semester. yet i came to notice his gorgeous and outstanding personality in the last days!! what a dope am i! now i regret the days i choose to be absent on his class for no apparent reason aside from i don't feel like joining in.
i think earlier that afternoon, after my exam in his subject, was the first time i ever talked to him that long and that close. now that i mention that, i reminisced how close our gap was and indeed, it's really close. his eyes were so near that i think it's where all started. his eyes were not that black, it has brown rims around it that it looks like blended with the black center and gave a melancholic effect as a whole. the edges of her eyes are like downwards so gives a rather sad look to it. it's even like pleading, melancholic yet cheerful and mischievous at the same time. they are so expressive and mysterious and intelligent eyes that i can't resist myself from staring at them.
moreover, i was not just the eyes that made a mark but the whole of him. he's intelligent, humorous, understanding, patient, punctual, passionate, and effective as a mentor. he doesn't limits himself from being a teacher but makes efforts to reach out with students. i realized now that i love the way he explains things in front though mostly it distresses him to see students not comprehending his lessons. and that's where i see his passion and dedication most. every time he reviews all over again and explain it as thoroughly as he could, only for the students to understand the lessons.
i was greatly moved one time when my classmate accused him of using technological techniques (e.g. blogs) in teaching and reaching out with students for profitable purposes. he was really hurt with that that it has been an issue for a week. he couldn't believe that some of his students thought that way towards him and his strategies, though never in his years of teaching had he thought of profit gains. he even stated that, a portion of his salary goes to his teaching paraphernalia like free handouts. even if ironically he's teaching economics yet he doesn't really want to make himself so rich. instead he puts most of his efforts for educating students. and isn't it the heart of teaching? to educate, to inform, to help develop minds regardless of the monthly salary?
i am happy to discover that i developed such feelings to a well-deserved man. to someone who is all worth the time listening and conversing to, worth all the time thinking of. all i wish now is that, somehow, someday i could show this feelings in a much matured level and in a more accepting world. it's not in school with him wearing his casual teaching clothes and me with my uniform. i wish to be worthy for him someday and that it will give me a chance, it will give "us" a chance with no hindrances in our status quo.
i like your smile and how you carry yourself, confident yet humble; intelligent yet readily accepts errors and new learning. i like the way you balance your formality and humor. i like most your humility and wisdom that apparently attracted me most.
i got a lot of things to tell and i'm excited every time. so let me just take this easy and not overwhelm myself. it might just spoil out everything like what happened to my past subjects.
a lovely sleep to me, to you, and to everyone. thank you Lord.
Sunday, March 13, 2011
cause i'm not yet ready to close the gap on that aisle
my sister asked me if i have plans to have children in the future. and i told her "yes, why not."
though i don't really see myself looking for male prospects and tying the knots and signing those marriage certificates. perhaps i think this way cause i couldn't imagine myself walking with a guy by my side cause i'm so occupied with myself at the moment. i mean, i'm too proud to co-exist with males, specially if he's to tie a life-long marriage ( you could always break the tie though it means too much hassle on working with papers and filing law suits.).
at first when i imagine myself closing the gaps on that long flowered aisle towards my husband-to-be, with all the people close to us anticipating and looking at me, it was great. you're in this picturesque place and everyone seemed so excited and vivacious and sincere and like no one will ever stop the joyous moments coming except if you're a candidate for a runaway bride...everything just seemed so perfect.
except for a single thing... yourself.
your free flying self, your ambitious self that's constantly haunted with the notion that... you're married and your tied up to the responsibilities to your husband and kids. there's no way out except for the dirty back door.
for now, i'm too self-centered to be thinking about happy and contented married life. and it would be selfish and unfair for my family-to-be if i think this way.
though i don't really see myself looking for male prospects and tying the knots and signing those marriage certificates. perhaps i think this way cause i couldn't imagine myself walking with a guy by my side cause i'm so occupied with myself at the moment. i mean, i'm too proud to co-exist with males, specially if he's to tie a life-long marriage ( you could always break the tie though it means too much hassle on working with papers and filing law suits.).
at first when i imagine myself closing the gaps on that long flowered aisle towards my husband-to-be, with all the people close to us anticipating and looking at me, it was great. you're in this picturesque place and everyone seemed so excited and vivacious and sincere and like no one will ever stop the joyous moments coming except if you're a candidate for a runaway bride...everything just seemed so perfect.
except for a single thing... yourself.
your free flying self, your ambitious self that's constantly haunted with the notion that... you're married and your tied up to the responsibilities to your husband and kids. there's no way out except for the dirty back door.
for now, i'm too self-centered to be thinking about happy and contented married life. and it would be selfish and unfair for my family-to-be if i think this way.
Friday, March 11, 2011
all about KISS.
-The first kiss recorded on film was called, "The Kiss" in 1896
-About 90% of the world's cultures kiss and 2/3 of us tilt our heads to the right
- A kiss can be 10 times more effective than Morphine in reducing pain- In the middle ages, illiterates could seal legal deals with an "X" and a kiss, which is how the kiss got its "X" signature.
-When we kiss: - blood vessels expand
- cheeks flush
- pupils dilate
- and the heart pumps more oxygen to the brain
-Kissing also releases serotonin, dopamine, and adrenaline which can feel like butterflies inside your stomach or a roller coaster ride
- Passionate kissing burns 6.4 calories per minute
1 Hershey's kiss= 26 calories
that's a 4 minute kiss
- A kiss can be an elixir of life, it can also be a kiss of death
- The science of kissing is called Philematology
- When people kiss, they exchange between 10 million and 1 billion bacteria- In France, French kissing is called "tongue kissing" or "soul kissing"
Thursday, March 10, 2011
business documentation
I- Introduction
The project documentation highlights the the profile, structure and major business processes of the chosen business. Through these gathered data we then describe the existing system, it weaknesses and strengths, and how we can burgeon the current business status through providing a proposed system. We will then put to test the efficiency of the system by preparing a model that will describe the progress and differences when the new system will be substantiated.
Our chosen company is a vegetable wholesale and retail business. The vegetable distributors provide vegetables through manufacturing and import. some vegetables were processed by the distributors (e.g. sprouted mongo) and some were transported from local producers in the countryside. These vegetables will be distributed in wholesale to large business establishments (e.g. Davao Regional Hospital, Delongtes, NCCC mall). The remaining products were sold in retails in local markets.
The mode of payment for wholesale is weekly. The distributors will be collecting payments every end of the week. Payments are directly and indirectly settled depending on the agreement between the distributor and the company.
II. The existing system
The current system is manual. It means that the company is putting the data manually in record books. This is done everyday to see and analyze the current flow of money, the gross and net margins, and the total costs of production. This records also serves as a written acknowledgment that a specified delivery of merchandise has been received and delivered.
Many problems are encountered in the current system like lost records of some transactions. And because it's not really properly bound together due to its number some records eventually lost. This gave a negative Impact in the company for some transactions were void.
There are also instances that the entries were not legibly written and so some figures are conceived differently from its actual amount. like example, if PHP300 is not discernible it might be interpreted as PHP200 instead of its real value. This mistakes will produce undesired results.
Manual system is apparently hasten progress because of its flaws in efficient and accurate data entries then eventually result to poor analysis of the business.
The project documentation highlights the the profile, structure and major business processes of the chosen business. Through these gathered data we then describe the existing system, it weaknesses and strengths, and how we can burgeon the current business status through providing a proposed system. We will then put to test the efficiency of the system by preparing a model that will describe the progress and differences when the new system will be substantiated.
Our chosen company is a vegetable wholesale and retail business. The vegetable distributors provide vegetables through manufacturing and import. some vegetables were processed by the distributors (e.g. sprouted mongo) and some were transported from local producers in the countryside. These vegetables will be distributed in wholesale to large business establishments (e.g. Davao Regional Hospital, Delongtes, NCCC mall). The remaining products were sold in retails in local markets.
The mode of payment for wholesale is weekly. The distributors will be collecting payments every end of the week. Payments are directly and indirectly settled depending on the agreement between the distributor and the company.
II. The existing system
The current system is manual. It means that the company is putting the data manually in record books. This is done everyday to see and analyze the current flow of money, the gross and net margins, and the total costs of production. This records also serves as a written acknowledgment that a specified delivery of merchandise has been received and delivered.
Many problems are encountered in the current system like lost records of some transactions. And because it's not really properly bound together due to its number some records eventually lost. This gave a negative Impact in the company for some transactions were void.
There are also instances that the entries were not legibly written and so some figures are conceived differently from its actual amount. like example, if PHP300 is not discernible it might be interpreted as PHP200 instead of its real value. This mistakes will produce undesired results.
Manual system is apparently hasten progress because of its flaws in efficient and accurate data entries then eventually result to poor analysis of the business.
Taho Business Proposal
1. Taho can be bought almost anywhere. they are sold door-to-door where in taho vendors yell their products in the neighborhood. it is seen outside univirsities, churches and other establishments. the taho manufacturers target customers who are prioritizing healthy living through appropriate food intake. in a way, it could also serve as a complementary substitute for heavier meals specially on diet conscious consumers. the taho's tastier and healthier ingredients are are based on the checklist provided by certified dieticcians that will boost essential nutrients needed by the body. the taho is reay for market, has passed extensive consumers test, and the company manufacturing taho has contract negotiaions under way at 5 major establishments in the city where in it could be available to the consumers.
2. Taho products participate in the 20,000 per month direct-selling market. currently students, children and diet conscious rarely find taho vendors selling outside establishments. The growing number of healthy foods enthusiats are greatly increasing nowadays. Taho products allows health conscious consumers to enjoy food without being guilty on cholesterol residues. Taho manufacturers has placed its branches in neighborhoods and establishments with greater contact to the consumers with hasty and rapid lifestyle.
3. Taho manufacturers target niche is healthy food products for consumers with great health concerns. Taho is appropriate and perfect for consumers who find healthier options for dieting. Taho would be very suitable to direct-selling markets since it is easier to make and so consumers will not wait long for the outputs. it would also increase contacts with consumers who can suggest different flavors and opinions for the products and the way of selling. and because it's direct selling these suggestions will easily be approved and implemented.
4. Taho advantage over street food manufacturing companies is that it allowed the direct and immediate catering of the consumers needs and suggestions. direct selling of Taho through door-to-door delivery and kiosks placed in different places. it will provide a faster acquisition of healthy foods that can enhance their given lifestyles. It also eliminates suspicions ans hesitance on how the products were manufactured since it is being processed on the spot. The consumers will know how clean and immediate the process is. taho's advantage is that it is certified by food inspecting agencies like BFAD, ergo it is safe, clean and healthy.
5. Taho has gross margin of 20% and net margins of 10%, compared to other street foods producing companies norm of 10% and 5%. Taho margins are higher because it offers a high percentage of high-margin custom systems which allows for a lower input prices with the patronizing companies. Taho custom product eliminate unhealthy diet foods on products through daily Tho consumptoin people will patronize it. The company anticipate that in arly account penetration and superior first class distributing teams will allow it to continue to have increasing gross and net margins well in the future.
6. Taho business needs only an mount of as low as PHP20,000 for rent deposits, signage and inventory for the branches for the months as to when the business had begun to run. Based on surveys conducted, each kiosk should generate PHP12,000 or 60%margin sales over the first two months of the busines. additionally, mall exposure to potential costumers should increase year-round sales at the local stores PHP10,000 to PHP15,000. if the program is succesful, the company plans on raising an additional PHP100,000 to open one store that will cater a higher number of customers in no time.
7. Taho needs a total of PHP80,000 for the three mall kiosks. the company's owner and lead investor can raise 50,000 and the company needs a PHP50,000 loan. PHP 60,000 has been invested in two current branches. PHP 100,000 from the owner and 2 investors and a PHP 60,000 bank loan. After he round financing, the company will have PHP130,000 in investments and PHP 110,000 in bank loans.
2. Taho products participate in the 20,000 per month direct-selling market. currently students, children and diet conscious rarely find taho vendors selling outside establishments. The growing number of healthy foods enthusiats are greatly increasing nowadays. Taho products allows health conscious consumers to enjoy food without being guilty on cholesterol residues. Taho manufacturers has placed its branches in neighborhoods and establishments with greater contact to the consumers with hasty and rapid lifestyle.
3. Taho manufacturers target niche is healthy food products for consumers with great health concerns. Taho is appropriate and perfect for consumers who find healthier options for dieting. Taho would be very suitable to direct-selling markets since it is easier to make and so consumers will not wait long for the outputs. it would also increase contacts with consumers who can suggest different flavors and opinions for the products and the way of selling. and because it's direct selling these suggestions will easily be approved and implemented.
4. Taho advantage over street food manufacturing companies is that it allowed the direct and immediate catering of the consumers needs and suggestions. direct selling of Taho through door-to-door delivery and kiosks placed in different places. it will provide a faster acquisition of healthy foods that can enhance their given lifestyles. It also eliminates suspicions ans hesitance on how the products were manufactured since it is being processed on the spot. The consumers will know how clean and immediate the process is. taho's advantage is that it is certified by food inspecting agencies like BFAD, ergo it is safe, clean and healthy.
5. Taho has gross margin of 20% and net margins of 10%, compared to other street foods producing companies norm of 10% and 5%. Taho margins are higher because it offers a high percentage of high-margin custom systems which allows for a lower input prices with the patronizing companies. Taho custom product eliminate unhealthy diet foods on products through daily Tho consumptoin people will patronize it. The company anticipate that in arly account penetration and superior first class distributing teams will allow it to continue to have increasing gross and net margins well in the future.
6. Taho business needs only an mount of as low as PHP20,000 for rent deposits, signage and inventory for the branches for the months as to when the business had begun to run. Based on surveys conducted, each kiosk should generate PHP12,000 or 60%margin sales over the first two months of the busines. additionally, mall exposure to potential costumers should increase year-round sales at the local stores PHP10,000 to PHP15,000. if the program is succesful, the company plans on raising an additional PHP100,000 to open one store that will cater a higher number of customers in no time.
7. Taho needs a total of PHP80,000 for the three mall kiosks. the company's owner and lead investor can raise 50,000 and the company needs a PHP50,000 loan. PHP 60,000 has been invested in two current branches. PHP 100,000 from the owner and 2 investors and a PHP 60,000 bank loan. After he round financing, the company will have PHP130,000 in investments and PHP 110,000 in bank loans.
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
something worth reposting. : )
continuation
about today....
i don't want to write everything that happened today, just the things that highlighted my day. first, i went to the library (nothing special about this.) and found the books i've been searching since last semester. yeah, i already found The Pearl by John Steinbeck. YES! and some other books that were retrieved now that finals is fast approaching.
great. now all the books are there, yet i don't have enough time to finish all of them cause i'll be spending few days in school, more or less a week. haist. that's the sad part really. i don't like summer cause it means not reading books at bookstores since they are far from our house. it means no library. oh it's boring. will i end up reading the encyclopedia again?? just like what i did last semester break?
nah, let me not write about that already, it's gloomy.
second, i already found the shelves where arts are located. (but why am i feeling this way? i should be happy right? well yeah its a good thing but why am i not jumping off my feet and scream? and feel this beat in my heart? gosh. this is indeed alarming since i have plans shifting to fine arts. tsk2.)
third, i met my EX...at the library, where i peacefully sprawled my feet and read books. how did he find me there? it's a secret place. not even my close friends know that i'm spending vacant hours there. damn.
and what he did? he did it again. but i shooed him off. great he's not nagging me that hard now. but still he nagged me all the same.
i don't want to write everything that happened today, just the things that highlighted my day. first, i went to the library (nothing special about this.) and found the books i've been searching since last semester. yeah, i already found The Pearl by John Steinbeck. YES! and some other books that were retrieved now that finals is fast approaching.
great. now all the books are there, yet i don't have enough time to finish all of them cause i'll be spending few days in school, more or less a week. haist. that's the sad part really. i don't like summer cause it means not reading books at bookstores since they are far from our house. it means no library. oh it's boring. will i end up reading the encyclopedia again?? just like what i did last semester break?
nah, let me not write about that already, it's gloomy.
second, i already found the shelves where arts are located. (but why am i feeling this way? i should be happy right? well yeah its a good thing but why am i not jumping off my feet and scream? and feel this beat in my heart? gosh. this is indeed alarming since i have plans shifting to fine arts. tsk2.)
third, i met my EX...at the library, where i peacefully sprawled my feet and read books. how did he find me there? it's a secret place. not even my close friends know that i'm spending vacant hours there. damn.
and what he did? he did it again. but i shooed him off. great he's not nagging me that hard now. but still he nagged me all the same.
bookshelves
every time i plan to buy a book at the bookstore, i just end up reading it there for free. well they are so tempting and i can't help myself until i feed my curiosity through finally reading it after a long argument with myself not to read it cause it's for buying purposes. and also because it's really not allowed to read books there. so when i'm done reading it, i just place it back and never buy it again. what for? i already know the story.
wow, how great would it be if i can buy my own stuffs someday. if i can buy those books i just read in bookstores and libraries.
for the meantime
about yesterday...
i am done reading Roles by Siege Malvar and i'm up to finishing Falling leaves by Adeline Mah and Mark Twains the Prince and the pauper which i'm already halfway each. i spent most of my time at the library (*its nothing new really.) reading general books. but now that i'm hooked again to these two novels which are unjustly and irritatingly unavailable in the library, i'm now spending most of my time in NBS, specially those long vacant hours and after class dismissal. fortunately i have all the time to read books at NBS since i don't have classes in the afternoon every MWF. :)
i usually squat on the floor when i read books at NBS. good thing that i'm not at all noticed by the supervisors roaming around. i try to be inconspicuous if possible so that they won't reprimand me every time i read their books for free. it's not allowed to read books in NBS, but since there are a lot of books that are not available, or cannot be found because some students are mischievously and selfishly hide books for themselves at the library so even if the OPAC says it's "in" yet it's nowhere to be found. i am happily compelled to read books in NBS.
i often see my classmates in NBS but i don't bother myself to greet them, and sometimes when they chance to see me there squatting on the floor, they often say names like "nerd" or "bookworm" or they even accuse me of owning NBS for myself since they see me there almost every time they go there. they even found where my secret place is. though its not secret anymore since they already know it. haist. (for PEACE's sake, don't bother me again!)
about the present...
well, i'm not gonna write anything about this yet because it's still 4:05 pm. a lot of things might still happen in the next hours. i still have my literature....
write on this later.
about the future...
the future is the most uncertain, inconsistent tense. so maybe i'll just write here the things i want and would love to happen in the future. this is the thing i can do at the moment while sitting here in front this screen (which is giving off unhealthy radiations for two hours now.)
i am done reading Roles by Siege Malvar and i'm up to finishing Falling leaves by Adeline Mah and Mark Twains the Prince and the pauper which i'm already halfway each. i spent most of my time at the library (*its nothing new really.) reading general books. but now that i'm hooked again to these two novels which are unjustly and irritatingly unavailable in the library, i'm now spending most of my time in NBS, specially those long vacant hours and after class dismissal. fortunately i have all the time to read books at NBS since i don't have classes in the afternoon every MWF. :)
i usually squat on the floor when i read books at NBS. good thing that i'm not at all noticed by the supervisors roaming around. i try to be inconspicuous if possible so that they won't reprimand me every time i read their books for free. it's not allowed to read books in NBS, but since there are a lot of books that are not available, or cannot be found because some students are mischievously and selfishly hide books for themselves at the library so even if the OPAC says it's "in" yet it's nowhere to be found. i am happily compelled to read books in NBS.
i often see my classmates in NBS but i don't bother myself to greet them, and sometimes when they chance to see me there squatting on the floor, they often say names like "nerd" or "bookworm" or they even accuse me of owning NBS for myself since they see me there almost every time they go there. they even found where my secret place is. though its not secret anymore since they already know it. haist. (for PEACE's sake, don't bother me again!)
about the present...
well, i'm not gonna write anything about this yet because it's still 4:05 pm. a lot of things might still happen in the next hours. i still have my literature....
write on this later.
about the future...
the future is the most uncertain, inconsistent tense. so maybe i'll just write here the things i want and would love to happen in the future. this is the thing i can do at the moment while sitting here in front this screen (which is giving off unhealthy radiations for two hours now.)
Monday, March 7, 2011
writing seminar!
Ateneo de Davao University will be holding a writer's workshop for Addu students and faculty.
this will be my first writing seminar ever. that's why i'm excited and thrilled with the idea of meeting new people, learn the different writing techniques and read literary pieces by my co seminarians.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Thursday, March 3, 2011
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About Me
- Cyrella Racemiflora
- once in a while you chance to meet people from the inside universe of their own.