bring me to the hospital

do you know what it feels like waking up in the morning with a very big smile in your face, heart jumping like it's gonna run an Olympic race, you're so restless you want to bang your head on the wall, your hands are trembling and you know you don't have caffeine intake for the past days, your tear glands are so active and you wanna cry but you don't want to cause it'll make you look stupid (though you know you are)??

yes. exactly. very well said. yet not precisely described what i felt this morning.

do you know how it feels like you know the cause of all these phenomenon happening in your system and you don't know what to do about it?!... it sucks!

you're listening to some song in your playlist to calm your self, relax your senses yet it triggers your excitement. you try to go along with the song to ease the excitement yet it so frustrating cause you're not familiar with lyrics. and so you just listen and the lyrics prick you like tiny needles, making your stomach churn. you don't know what to do with the food in front of you cause even if you're hungry you suddenly lost your appetite. you want to be disturbed so that the intruder will somehow bring you back to your senses, but at the same time want to savor the moment. you try to rationalize the phenomenon. you overthink. make your brain work 10 times it's usual rapidity. you can't stay focused. you're MAD.

like capital M-A-D.