silly friday.

   i think this will be the first time I'll be writing some thing pathetic in my blog, something pathetic about myself which i really find silly to be a subject on my blog. nevertheless, i would still be writing this one today because i have nothing to write anyway. 


i think of you.
i don't know if you're thinking of me too.
i saw you happy today.
i hope i was the reason.
i saw you smile today,
which you never did when you're with me.
feeling like a prison
behind the bars of your memory.
i saw you gay.
it's the first time.
and pathetic to say.
I'm not the reason why.
you said you're happy.
i know you would,
we hadn't seen each other.
i know you're feeling good.
today you smiled.
because someone greeted you.
and it's not me.
for we hadn't seen each other
for a week or two.
how silly i am, how silly
not even in jest
that you'll remember me.
thinking that it's me
that put on that smile on you
oh, how i would love to say
but i know it's not
thus leave me in dismay.
is this a poem i'm writing?
i hope it is.
is it i you're dreaming?
i hope it is. 




this is not  a poem. this is just a collection of words coming from my pathetic side, coming from my mind when i come to think of this someone, coming from the deep abyss of feminism, coming from my hopeless affection, coming from my nothingness.