me and my God

my God.
my strength.
my wisdom.
my thoughts.
the air i breath,
the life i live,
this is all Yours.

my God.
my courage.
my shield.
my voice.
i praise you,
with all my art
my talent, my gifts
that you blessed me.
they are all Yours,
i am Yours and You
are mine.

my God.
my spirit.
my heart rejoices,
singing hymns
for all the grace,
the trials i face,
You and You alone
stood by me.

Amen.


Lord, my God, in the silence of the night, my soul is aching. and nothing is felt by the heart that is barren and dry with loneliness and anxiety, with nonsense worries and fears, with scorn and envy, with pride and guilt. Lord, i have forgotten our promise, the promise of the faithful, the spoken and not spoken. i have forgotten, or, perhaps, i fell upon the hands of deep rebellion and there i was strangled by my own wrong reasonings and selfish pride. Lord, this times i have forgotten to thank you and ask for forgiveness, i have forgotten that You have never forgotten me. even at times when i am alone and thinking and worrying about uncertainty, i am mostly not me, for i am not with You, cause i am not thinking with You. that there is You, and i need not to worry for You will be with me, whatever it is that i face. You God is my strength and my courage, and to whom should i put my trust, only to You, through me, and through the people around me.
everyday is a manefestation of your love for me, and when i wake up, i know i love You and You love me. i know, living my life happily, as you wish, will be the only thing you want me to do. my happiness is my gift to You. and look how amazing You are my Lord, it is not like repaying for your kindness, but it is a favor for me. all You ask is for me to live the life You wanted me to have, a happy and contented life. then why am i not doing this? why am i hiding behind the shadow of insecurity and pride? this is not Your will. these things won't make me happier. then why am i doing this?
in my pursuit to find my place, in my forcing to uncover the mysteries, in my placing mself above everyone, i have forgotten and lost track of what i really want...genuine happiness, the thing You want me to have, my one and only gift i can give You. i am lost. am i not? i want to be with You my God. and i know you always stays in my heart. till the end of time. till i not think of time anymore. You are always be there for me. and You never forget to remind me of that, to make me feel Your presence.

i love You, and thank You. Amen.