empty words

my days starts with thoughts of you.
but will you say that you love me and show me that you care....
my love will always be with you..

above is an excerpt from a song currently playin on the radio. this should not be the flow of this essay, but somehow the lyrics of the song catched my attention and now i'm writing this one. i am writing this for someone far away from me. that someone i am loving from a distance. when i think of you i am thinking how can i ever show you my affection and prove you my love. how can i ever prove myself worthy?
sometimes when i ask myself this questions, i get to think if are you pondering the same questions, or, if does matter to you anyway. i want to think of the good times so that i can continue my feelings, but how weak am i and how untrue are these feelings. when i admire you only for the good times, and detest the bad. i pondered upon these thoughts and i prove it wrong, immaterial to the growth of my love for you. i love you, for who you are, bad or good as they may be. i love you for your past, present and future.

fate or destiny? choice? why it should be you? of all people. perhaps because God has his own reasons, and i hope these reasons are also my reasons. because i believe i cannot love a person for no reason, whatever they maybe, even how shallow they can be. all i need to do is to accept these reasons and let my reasons will also be yours. :)

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but tell me, why am i writing with no soul in my words. like an empty shell loaded to a gun. why can't i feel anything from this?