since i'm tired of thinking about someone, why not think myself now? not that i've totally neglected myself. but recently, i guess every thing i think of is about things not really concerning or has nothing to so with self growth and development. i guess i have been to obsessed with the fictional him-and-me relationship i'm cooking in my head. duh. i know, i know, there could be no girl more pathetic than me...(but you could pin point some worse than me. cause i guess i'm not the only one existing who feels this kind of insanity.)
anyway, things gone normally unusual since i stepped into this course. it's normal in kinda not normal way i guess... do you know what i mean? i hope i can explain this well someday...someday when i'll come to comprehend it myself. that won't be sooner than you imagine. let me enumerate few of those things or lets say"evidences": first, i bring big bag in school. it's too big that my granny always make fun of it every morning before i go to school. like asking what mountain i'll be climbing this time. basically because my bag is not as big as them but just slight smaller. so every time i went to school, the feeling is like balancing earth on my back. some even joke that my bag is way bigger than me, or am i stowing away cause it seems like i brought all my stuffs in my cabinet. duh. but what really is inside this bag and why is it so big? inside it are my books, my laptop, a beauty kit (just powder and lip balm), notebooks, pens, chargers.. that's all i guess..no snake or something. why big? cause i don't have any other bags left. the last time i used this was way back my grade school years. so it's kinda antique already.
second, God bless me, i'm studying my lessons. i read those that i should really be reading. unlike before when i just take a final exam for granted and read some other books, impractically not related to my course. but now i'm kinda experiencing the procrastination again, yet i'm coping it up. and i guess i could really manage it if i'm positively and consistently motivated by myself...cause who else will do it for me anyway? so that slight of problem is solved already, so i have a little worries about it now. i hope i could keep this up till the end of the semester.... or forever. hehehe.
third, i have my faith in God in me.
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