screening for the publication

dear blogger,

i just had the screening for the school publication cartoonist. indeed, it was a wonderful experience, to be with people who i have same interests with, drawing for the same purpose, aiming for a single goal.
wow, it's been a very long time since the last i draw. it's been months ago already and i'm feeling and enjoying the passion flooding in, coming back. i thought, perhaps, i would fail myself this time cause i wasn't ready or i'm shading myself with notions and negative ideas. i might fail or not able to draw anything because i forgot how to draw. but no, when i got there, and when i see those of my contestants starting to draw... i begun as well. though with trembling hands. i tried to muster every confidence and talent and skills left to procure something out. and i believe i haven't failed myself... and God... and those who trust me. however, because i didn't take my lunch, things became a bit encumbered. my stomach is growling, sending chills to my hands. they're trembling, can't hardly move them well. i got so frustrated at the beginning cause i can't seem to focus myself on what i'm doing. but i pulled it through... i believe i did. though it's been tough.

this experience is a pure advantage on me, though there is a possibility i wouldn't make it for the publication. well, i pray not. the experience brought back my passion, my vigor, and gave me reason to develop myself more. i realized that i must humble myself, because there is a lot more to learn, and i'm just starting. that the state of my skills now is so little. i learned to prepare myself always. i admit i went there not even sure of myself. i didn't took effort to bring appropriate drawing materials. i know i dilly-dallied this one, but i know for myself that i really want the position. i've been so doubtful that loose focus and didn't brought the right tools. i would've done much better than that. so i'm not putting the blame to anyone, except to myself. and though it's hard, i admit, a git reasons why i wasn't so prepared. i might say i had even lost my interest even before it started. but this is all because i thought i forgot how to draw. but no.... i may say that all had been well and good. moreover, basing from the juror's smile, i believe i gain his approval. and i'm happy with that.

thank God, he never left me. and all the while He has been there for me.