i'm dreadfully tired but i still don't want to go home. i want to write something here. i need to write something to cool down my temper.
(i believe that laptops should be placed on your lap, so that's what i'm doing now. perhaps i don't feel so intimate with my lappy if i won't do so. another, i want to feel at home. :) and comfortable. )
i can say that a lot of things happened since the beginning of the semester. i unfold innate characters that i can't believe i actually possess and good to say that many of which are positive once. like punctuality. i'm proud that i'm doing good on my academics now. it's because of the overwhelming inspirations and motivations around me. they really helped a lot. and just talking bout my inspiration, he's my intellectual crush, my platonic love(?). :) well i don't want to label it as "love" yet, but i guess there won't be no offense in doing so. hehe.
what i'm trying to say is that... i love my days here in the university. embellished with wonderful happenings and learning. it's like everything is unfolding gradually, and i'm savoring each moment. though tough times are inevitable they are something i can handle. now i can pull through things without worrying much because my confidence is properly aligned on where it should be of my much use. i mean, i am more confident to ask and admit if i don't really know or can't understand the lessons. the thing i refrain myself from doing before because i'm too proud of myself and claim that i very much capable of learning independently. also, i use my reading instincts on the right situations and books. before, i could finish books on one sitting though it's not really part of my academics. not that i totally deprive myself from reading novels and other books impractically not related to my course syllabus, not that i discourage contextualization, but now i'm rather more rational and clear thinking on what to read first and on what books i could use as sorts of rewards. and just thinking about books, it's really helpful to read in advance. now, i'm not worrying much because I've already read my lessons. now i can make use of my time on reviews and on some articles to be read. i can't feel much pressure at all because i'm using my time efficiently. great thing about advance reading.
as much as i want to write something about my intellectual crush, i guess i can't do it now. and the reason? .. i don't know where to start with. that's how immensely interesting he is. everyday is another part of him i gradually discover, everyday i'm liking him, and loving the idea... the thought...of him and me. hahaha! BINGO! at last i have finally admit it to myself. i always deny this feeling, like i'm pretending that this is just mere infatuation and hence not to be taken seriously. but darn it, darn myself, this is something i can't and must not deny anymore... he won't love that, i won't love that.
tomorrow's Saturday, and i have much to do. i pray for peaceful and happy weekend for me, my family, my friends, and to my intellectual crush. anyway, don't you think "intellectual crush" is too long for a pseudo-name? ...i know, let's address him as "ICE" which stands for Intellectual Crush E______. his name starts in letter E.
goodbye for now. writing soooooooooon. haha! blissful weekend everyone! \{^.^}/
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