i'm deeply.. sorry. :'(

i am the hunch that encumbers your back

i am the rock under your soles,

all my wrongs i forgot to track

I'm the hollower of your pride's holes.

to watch you suffer saddened my heart

urges me to cry an endless barrel of tear

let i be your target in a dart

or otherwise lay me on a sear.

to know i made someone sad

that i was the springer of his misery

.... oh let me be dead! i would be glad! 

to all the things i'd done: "I'm deeply sorry".

  i made some one sad today. :(

  i want to cry this all out, or shout or run to the fields and freak out how i am deeply sorry ... how it buries me down to misery that some one, many miles away from me is listening to to the saddest of music, speaking the sorrows of his heart and living his day as if his not alive. :(

  i am sorry: this is what i always say to you... and this is all i can say.

i had never done anything good to you. not a single thing that made you smile, sincerely.

  maybe i must let myself die with my hopeless feelings for you and I'll pray that you'll forget everything about me, every single cue that will remind you. let me be dead in your memories... then i'll be happy to see you laugh each day and oblivious on everything about me. as i will watch you from a distance.... it'll kill me a single day, it'll shed me a tear, it'll slowly set my heart into disruption, i know. but if it kills me and you live, then I'll be fine living like a dead knowing that you lived.... if it'll shed me tears of sadness and you tears of joy, then i won't mind crying... if my heart be ruptured, your existence, your smile will give me strength to put them back together... maybe it won't be beautiful, it'll be scarred... but at least it still beats... beats for you.

   i'm listening to a sad song... and as the music travels down to my heart, it doubled its sadness. 

   i want to cry.