the girl with the crack voice became my dynamo of volition for today's afternoon (longest title since)

    hai, (monosyllabic for an intro sounded boring)

 i'm gonna put something in this blog after a week of futility, bearable boredom, poverty, mental CRIPPLEDness . i'm in my best friends house to pay a visit and avail the free internet. beautiful song is on the air and i don't know the title (sucks) but it says "angels brought me here.." well i believe myself to be an angel and my feet brought me here (apropos). i'm not use to writing with background music that's why don't bother yourself to connect the dots. Irish LOVES to CONCERT while bathing, so it takes her not less than an hour in the bathroom. well, she really sings great, so i'm not giving myself the rights to complain...since there's nothing to. and this is not my house, so i can't just turn her off like what i do with our cassette player at home. another beautiful song in the air... beautiful and most importantly, not bitter. i like this song, but i like Jed Madela's version better. what's the title again?? (sucks) it says..."let's not bring the past back anymore.."i can't bring mine back, and i don't have plans too. besides, i abhor redundancy. past is past. embrace the present since i can't embrace anything in my past, future is too aloof, so i won't trouble myself catching her like a girl or a boy, or both. (duh? where does my brain leading me? where am i leading you??) 

another song being played, beautiful, simple, and quite uncanny cause it's half. i can't understand the chorus since it's in Spanish and the verses Filipino. this is what i realized on the first verses but the following verses are really stupid, silly ordinary and bitter. i think i'll change my mind. now i change my mind. it's not beautiful, it's too simple making it ordinary, and no it's not uncanny, it's just so "nothing song" i don't know why it's even played on air. the artist's voice is too common, her style unoriginal...in short, i can't find nothing exceptional in her and her song. i'm not a singer but as a listener i believe i have some genetic knowledge on music. and because i have an eye for beauty, i think my judgments are valid. she won't pass for a recording artist, i don't know what the producers SEEN in her and played her song. duh. typical pinoy. always conscious with the image rather the talent. physical image as the basis of fame, is a fleeting fame...or not fame at all. i advice her to quit singing and find greener pastures as an endorser(?). instead of pestering every human's afternoon. 

venting. duh. stop this now. resume later. in my room, using my PC...unlimited. 

 

i can sleep anywhere.

 this photo was taken by my best friend Irish. i slept on the cold floor in a college museum.














Jasper, a friend of mine, took this photo on a ride heading home. 






                                                              This is the edited version.
                                                        (i know. i know. bad editing.)

American Idol 2011 Top 7 - Haley Reinhart (Rolling In The Deep)

GROWL YOU STAGE TIGRESS! RRarrr!

random. random. random

"I can lend you my books, my notes, my thoughts but not my genius."

- Cyrell

notes in my phone (cause everywhere i write)

don't get confused by the randomness of thoughts. they were made random. but if you observe, the entries sprung from one emotion.

***
Always make efficient of the resources available at hand.

***
i named myself Carla, and some other names i already forgot.

***
not all days are perfect, this day justified it. sometimes odd things happen in the near end of the day, and it doesn't give you a complete sense of satisfaction for you will be bothered by the things happened just a while ago than what happened the whole day. this will give you a terrible night and deprive you of sleep. because of the terrible and often unexpected conclusion. in the end you will ask if you were happy? i will leave this question hanging for now. tomorrow, everything will be better, i will give this question an answer.

***

i guest the biggest wrong of the day is giving my brother a bullet to shot his gun on me.

***
and because i am deprived of my writing table. my cellphone's notepad will be the only palpable alternative at hand. This is again about the things disclosed today...and a lot of things happen, withing small ranges. i believe i momentarily lived a life both in past and present. i reminisced who i was before and find relativism to what have become of me now.

***
i can't seem to conceive any genuine in you. i don't know, if the mask obviously worn is a mask at all. if your hypocrisy plotted by you foolery is for you to hurt my morals. i don't know if that's the purpose, putting unto vital consideration the follies and unbearable flippancy of your conduct, are you playing hurtful jokes on me, with obvious motives behind? but you make yourself too conspicuous i don't know what you really want. and this question constantly haunts this whole paragraph like a wandering ghost in a ghost town.
***
what can be more painful than to thrust in your heart the tarnished blade of distrust, and what will be left in you if the last ounce of trust poured out fast from your heart. Bleeding, you can't put your arms upon your chest, coward to feel then flowing out of you, ashamed of the truth, confuse of the now and the uncertain hereafter, weak from hopelessness . If death equals distrust, then verdict has long been pronounced, and the convictions of the guilty will be finally laid.

***
fatigued, my right gave up, now it's my left painstakingly enduring the benefit and curse of my insomnia.

***

:few of the notes in my phone. last night.

EASTERific!

it's Easter Sunday! Happy! Triumphant! Egg-crashing EASTERific Sunday!

  i believe that i ought to write something about life and the glory of resurrection. not that i feel myself compelled to write something (or more likely it is.) duh, ditch that. well, this is it.

  Today's the last day of the holy week wherein people celebrates Jesus Christ's resurrection in various unique forms: Easter parties, Easter egg paint and hunt, Easter mass, processions, prayers, and many more. as for me, i think I'll be off to church later this afternoon for an Easter mass together with my family. and maybe i could have a one-on-one talk with my risen savior, which i regretfully didn't find time to do on the previous days. i hope i could find a silent corner somewhere, so that i could have a serener and spontaneous conversation with Him.

***
why does eggs always associated with Easter Sundays??

  Rabbits and eggs are both symbols of the fertility goddess Eostre/Ishtar/Ostara. Her symbol is also the moon, in which some cultures see a rabbit instead of a face. Eggs also symbolize the moon and are the ultimate symbol of creation and new life. The basket is a symbol of the womb in which this new life is carried.

  People have unique ways of celebrating, despite of, it's the sincerity that counts regardless of the means.  
    
     Let's all have a meaningful and rapturous Easter Sunday celebration!

a poem on death

death-it come and go unnoticed,
like the slow departing of a leaf from its tree
or the tears from our eyes we set free
sometimes it appear in the middle of a life's feast

death-a sad lover everyone denied,
and so as revenges upon its arrival,
we experience sadness inconceivable
slow leaving and wide

death-a great find,
buried beneath the sands
it waits to be found,
by the living's blind hands

death- if at my window you knock
don't hesitate to take the door
or pass through my ceilings and wall
for your entrance is inevitable.




this is for a friend whose mother recently passed away. i know your sad, and even if i'm incapable of feeling the same degree of sorrow and missing, expect i've been through the same pain. and so, i know inexactly how it feels. my ever cordial condolence to you and your family.